Flying Pigskins: How I Went from Hating Football to Loving It

Not long ago, Veeder said he'd like fantasy football the day that pigs fly, Now, he's the owner of The Flying Pigskins.

By Veeder South IV, Guest Contributor

[Editor’s Note: This article was written by a friend of The Geek who has recently developed the addiction to fantasy football. Welcome to the club!]

I’ve always hated football. A bunch of over-hyped giants slamming into each other, piling up like dogs, sandwiched between obnoxious commercials for beer and pickup trucks. Ugh. Why would I want to watch that? Besides, LA no longer has a team, so why would I care if the Timbuktu Snarlers beat the Des Moines Blowhards?

Enter Fantasy Football. Two years ago my stepson joined my in-laws’ infamous fantasy league and all day Sunday became non-stop pigskin action on the TV in our house. I couldn’t escape it. It was driving me nuts. Finally, I decided to make use of that famous adage, “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.”

So last year I ventured into my first draft, cheat sheet in hand, green as a newbie can get. I managed to land Maurice Jones-Drew (who I’d never heard of, but I knew was the consensus no. 3 pick) and a list of other hooligans—I mean players—that were mine to manage. I was hoping to at least not embarrass myself too badly.

The Fantasy Gods showed mercy and my first game was a resounding success: high score for the week (worth an extra $10 in that league). “Okay, this isn’t so bad,” I thought. I still disliked football but at least I could root for my players, even if I had to look up their numbers and try to find them on the TV. The best part was that I didn’t have to care about the actual outcomes of the games.

Enter statistics. A few more weeks went by and my team chalked up more wins than losses. I figured out the whole “bye week” thing and how to manage my team online. I didn’t make any moves the first five weeks. I just benched low-scoring players and hoped for the best. Then I discovered Yahoo!’s real-time StatTracker®. All the players’ points updated in real-time during the games. Wow. Sundays just got a lot more interesting. Finally, I got clued in to the idea that I could drop those lousy bums on my bench and pick up free agents during the week. (Waivers were still too advanced of a topic for me at that time.) Somehow I got the drop on Vernon Davis, who turned out to be the no. 1 TE last year. I was starting to get the hang of this fantasy thing.

Enter Injuries. Sometime midway through the season, my no. 2 and 3 running backs (Cedric Benson and Ronnie Brown) went down for the count and I was up the proverbial creek. It was time to wade into the world of waivers and pick up some help. Tim Hightower joined my squad and filled in adequately, along with a few others. My season ended above .500. I made the playoffs but was soundly crushed in the first week. All in all, it was not a bad first season.

Enter Season Two. This year, I gladly signed up again, having learned a lot from my rookie year and resolving to come back stronger. Our draft happened online rather than over the phone (soooo much easier, but not as fun as Vegas!). I actually recognized a few names this time around, and knew the value of RBs from last year (“early and often,” so they say). I eagerly marched into week 1 with Brett Favre at the helm. Sixty-five lousy points later my fantasy depression kicked off in fine style. Ugh.

Fast-forward six weeks or so. What a bust my draft turned out to be! Kevin Kolb, out. Brett Favre, dud. Shonn Greene, useless. Mike Sims-Walker, yuck. San Francisco DST, wtf? My record was 2-4 with the lowest point total in the league. It was time to put those analytical skills from my engineering background to use. It’s not that hard really, just sort the “available players” Yahoo! page by average points per game, read the notes, watch the trends, and ask friends like The Geek for help. And in truth, my draft wasn’t all bad. I did land Antonio Gates, MJD (again) and Calvin Johnson. But I did need to make some moves if this season was to be salvaged.

My first task: find a reliable QB. I’ve learned that there are really only about a dozen elite QBs, at most, in the fantasy football world. Matt Ryan wasn’t quite one of them, but was the best I could do. Then someone in my league dropped Michael Vick after he got (temporarily) hurt and I snagged him. OK, one problem solved.

Another big lesson from my first season had to be heeded: keep an eye on that waiver wire. In our league most teams are paying attention, so good free-agent pickups are hard to come by. But I did manage to reel in Austin Collie while no one was looking. Then I saw Brandon Lloyd’s stellar receiving yardage stats and somehow managed to snag him off the wire as the moons aligned.

My final challenge: beg, borrow, or steal some better RBs. Tim Hightower and Mike Tolbert were no longer cutting it in the no. 2 slot. I tried to trade a WR for RB with my father-in-law. He politely declined (if you were sitting on Darren McFadden, Rashard Mendenhall, Frank Gore, and Ahmad Bradshaw, you would too). The Geek suggested trading Randy Moss, convinced he was overrated. I agreed and managed to negotiate a trade for Jahvid Best, just in the nick of time. I’m not sure if his former owner and I are still on speaking terms. At least it wasn’t a family member.

Along the way I also picked up Ryan Fitzpatrick, Danny Woodhead and, most recently, LeGarrette Blount. It would appear (at least on paper) that my team is finally up to snuff. I’ve now put in dozens of hours poring over players’ stats, reading TheFantasyGeek.com and tagging up-and-coming players for my “watch list.” I’ve spent so much time on this stuff, my wife has started to wonder if she’s going to have to compete for my attention. I know, I’ve been sucked in! Even when I lose (and then it’s even worse), the never-ending quest to forge a better team has become addictive. I now look forward to Sunday a.m. like a kid on Christmas morning. I have to know if my latest moves will pay off!

Somewhere along the way, I have even started to like the game of football. I still don’t care about specific teams or who wins the Super Bowl, but that’s the beauty of the fantasy concept. It makes it personal. It gives you those agonizing choices of who to bench and who to play every week. And it can reward you when you’ve made the right choice and eek out that one-point victory. For me, the high can last all week.

My wife wonders where her old husband went. I wonder what I ever did on Sundays before fantasy football. It used to bother me that luck was such a huge part of the game, that no matter how well I run the numbers, I can’t control the outcome. I’ve recently discussed it with The Geek. But I think that’s what keeps me coming back for more. Will your top RB be carted off the field with a season-ending groin pull? Will your opponent’s TE fumble into the waiting hands of your defense? Will your last-minute WR acquisition save the day with a late fourth quarter 2-yard TD? Not even the best pundits can tell. I do my best with the available information, and come Sunday, fate is in the driver’s seat. Not only has fantasy football become a great source of bonding with my stepson and a common addiction with my friends, it’s become a great intellectual hobby. I get it now. Long live fantasy football and long live the Flying Pigskins! (That’s my team.)